


mamma (non) ho perso l'aereo (mom I didn't miss my flight)

by valechii



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Airports, Australia, Australian Clarke Griffin, Exchange student Lexa, F/F, F/M, First Meetings, Flights, Gonna add tags as I go, ambitious clarke, but they'll be friends first, dreamer clarke, i hope it'll be funny at times?, italian lexa, italian music, random italian words, so patience my friends, they get together eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 15:37:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20566763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valechii/pseuds/valechii
Summary: Clarke had had this dream as long as she could remember, and she couldn’t give it up without at least trying, even if that meant wounding her mother a little.Lexa had (has) a dream. She would never say it out loud, though. If she had ever talked to someone about it, it would mean it was real. And that she really wanted it. She couldn’t want it. She just couldn’t.the little au where clarke and lexa are both dreamers who meet on a flight leading them to their future.





	mamma (non) ho perso l'aereo (mom I didn't miss my flight)

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is my first ever uploaded story on here :)  
it was supposed to be a one-shot, but I thought it would've been nice to divide it into small chapters! (maybe 4?)  
if it goes well, this would be the prequel of a ff I'd like to write, but we'll see...
> 
> also, there's an italian [ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snR60ZXuaJc)  
inserted in the story, if you'd like to listen to it all I made the complete translation  
[ here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-UZW94PVUUyj3LsmHNUIEVvj9lws1e9kt0_aASvnBjQ/edit?usp=sharing)  
anyways, enjoy and let me know what you think!!

**** [](https://imgur.com/BxJ8A7x)

She was _ late _ . It’s wasn’t unusual for her, far from it actually, but she had always hoped for some kind of miracle. This time it wasn’t even her fault! Her mother was supposed to drive her to the airport to kiss her goodbye and help her carry the copious amount of luggage: 2 trolleys, one her favourite shade of green and the other grey, a duffel bag, and her guitar (no way she was leaving it behind) — the strict necessities, that’s what she kept repeating to herself.  
However, life never went how she had planned it: her mother was called to the hospital to perform an emergency surgery the night before and she hadn’t heard from her since.  
They had a lovely relationship, Clarke and her mother. They’ve had their fair share of fights — not that they ever stopped, considering Clarke was still much deep into the teenage-rebellious phase —, but they grew closer during the years, especially after the divorce.  
There wasn’t bad blood between her parents, they’ve known each other since basically forever, after all, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault they’d fallen out of love somewhere along the way. They still cared, but the spark was gone. The only thing tying them together was Clarke, the daughter they profoundly loved. Clarke had always been an attentive kid and, at only 12 years old, she was the one suggesting divorce to her parents. She had noticed a shift in their relationship during the lastest year and she had been wondering what was best to do. She loved them, and she obviously wanted them both by her side, but if that meant ruining their second chance at happiness, she wasn’t going to keep it from them. 

After the initial shock, Abby and Jake exchanged a knowing look that said “_ Damn _ , our daughter’s too smart”. Other parents would’ve tried to convince her everything was fine and would’ve told her to go back to doing whatever she was doing before. Had they been normal parents, Abby and Jake would’ve never considered anything she had to say (because she was a kid and kids know nothing, right?). But they thought highly of Clarke, they always asked for her opinion and they discussed everything together. So, when instead of shushing her away, they sincerely addressed the problems between them and tried to make her understand they would love her forever, Clarke just smiled and nodded. Then, the three of them hugged and the rest was history.  
Jake was transferred to New York a year after the divorce, becoming a renowned engineer. In the meantime, Abby had become head surgeon at The Royal Melbourne Hospital and there she met Marcus. Clarke would be lying if she said she had liked him from the start. He had grown on her during the years, but he wasn’t trying to be a father figure, and she was grateful for it. Abby had never tried to force him on her, but Clarke’s early hostility relented as soon as she saw how happy Marcus made her mother.  
She genuinely just wanted both her parents to be happy.  
Clarke was far from the idea of an “ideal daughter”, though. She’d always tried to please everyone, and she undeniably cared for others before herself, but she did fail her mother. Abby hoped for her to follow her steps and become a surgeon (or at least a doctor), but in the end, she just couldn’t do it. Clarke had had this _ dream as long as she _ could remember, and she couldn’t give it up without at least trying, even if that meant wounding her mother a little. It was still clear in her mind the way Abby’s face fell when she told her she couldn’t follow her steps. She felt so guilty she was about to take all she said back, but then Abby surprised her when she said she would support her all the way through, reassuring her she just wanted Clarke to be _ happy _ . She gave one condition only: she had to wait until the end of year 12. (She was still sixteen at the time, after all.)  
But now was time.  
It really felt wrong leaving without saying goodbye to her mother. She wanted to wait for her. And she did wait, but now her flight was in less than two hours and Clarke really needed to leave ASAP if she wanted to catch it.  
She needed a ride and the first solution that came to her mind was calling her boyfriend Finn — well, wasn’t it an obvious option? — They hadn’t been dating for long, a couple of months, maybe three, but they’ve known each other for way longer than that, and before becoming her boyfriend, he had been her best friend.  
They were 5 years old when they met at the first Joey Scouts activity.  
While they were playing guards and thieves Finn had tripped and bruised his knee. He was crying uncontrollably and none of the Leaders had yet managed to make him stop when Clarke approached him. She had simply offered Finn a hand to help him up when their eyes met and he instantly stopped crying. As he was standing again, Clarke didn’t let go of his hand and led him to the small drinking fountain at the edge of the playground under the incredulous eyes of the Leaders. After kindly washing his wound — well, it was probably a scratch, but whatever — little Clarke hurried back to where they had previously dropped their backpacks. She quickly came back with tissues and band-aids in hand — she was her mother’s daughter, after all. — She then dried Finn’s knee and dressed his wound (scratch). Finally satisfied with her work, Clarke looked up smiling.  
  
«I’m Clarke. Want to be friends?» she said, offering her hand to Finn again.  
«I’m Finn. Yes!» he answered shaking her hand, mimicking what he had seen adults do.  
And that’s where their friendship started, running back to the group hand in hand. 

(Making friends as kids sure was easier, wasn’t it?)  
  
Clarke quickly scrolled through her contacts and called him.

[ ](https://imgur.com/yjEJI1w)

As she waited for Finn to pick up, she started biting her nails. She’s been trying to stop, pinky-swear, but she was too nervous to even care about her manicure now. (Wait, pinky-swear? Babysitting was seriously compromising her vocabulary).  
  
«Hey Clarke! What’s up? You at the airport yet?», Finn answered, snapping her out of her thoughts.  
  
«Hey! That’s exactly why I’m calling you... anyway you could give me a ride? I’m kinda stranded.»  
  
«Wait, what? Wasn’t Abby going to drive you?» he said, confusion clear in his voice. «...Well, never mind. Give me fifteen minutes, that okay?»  
  
«That’s perfect! I’ll explain when you get here. Thanks Finn.»  
  
«Anything for you, _ babe _ .» and he hung up.  
  
That. Babe. She hadn’t gotten used to it yet. Clarke’s never been the type for pet names and as much as she liked Finn, hearing him say that — _ babe _ , blah — didn’t feel right. She shrugged. It definitely wasn’t time to think about stuff like that, not right before leaving.  
She wasn’t sure how long she was going to stay away — hopefully, long enough for her to reach her goal. She hadn’t talked about it with many people. Clarke was a little superstitious (who was she kidding? _ Very _ superstitious) and she didn’t want to get her or her friends’ hopes up if there was the possibility of failure ahead.  
She didn’t lack self-confidence, that’s for sure, and she knew exactly what she was capable of, but that didn’t stop her from being humble and realising she could still improve. She wasn’t perfect. (Is perfect even achievable?)  
Clarke took a deep breath — the reality of what was soon going to happen finally kicked in — and she tried to rehearse in her head all the steps of her journey. As she was doing so, involuntary playing with her thumbs, Finn pulled over. He hurriedly exited the car and pecked Clarke’s lips in greeting. — Was it necessary? — Clarke plastered a smile on her face, to hide both her discomfort and nervousness, and went back to grab one of her suitcases while Finn was opening the boot.  
Once the small compact car was loaded, Clarke directed one last glance toward her childhood home with teary eyes — but if anyone asked, she’d deny it. —

＊＊＊

[ ](https://imgur.com/iro7lkH)

Looking out the window with her earphones on, it came really easy imagining herself protagonist of a music video, and she kind of loved it to be honest. (But for real, everybody does that, don’t they?) But in this case, it was a fairly depressing video.  
She was trying to imprint every building and every tree in her memory. After having spent 6 months in Melbourne, she was finally going home. But was it home anymore? She loved Italy, she did, but she couldn’t really shake off the feeling that going back was a bad idea.  
She thought she had friends back home, but she hadn’t talked or chatted with any of them in months. Was she so easy to forget?  
She sighed, turning her gaze on the people in the car who had become her second family. She will definitely miss them.  
  
Aden was the best brother she could’ve asked for — if she’d ever say this to Lincoln, she’d receive a punch of the shoulder, that’s for sure.— He was clever and smart for his age, and he was of great support when she first arrived. Lexa wasn’t _ exactly _ the best at making friends, but Aden was there through it all and made sure she felt welcome. (Damn it, this kid was 9, she should’ve been the one guiding and comforting him, not the other way around. And yet.)  
  
He looked so cute snoring in the seat next to her she couldn’t help reaching out to fix his hair and smile. Just then she realised she had probably been staring for a while. As she was shifting her gaze back to the buildings, she noticed Indra watching her through the rear-view mirror and she was smiling warmly. — _ Smiling _ . Indra. Well, that was definitely... uncommon. — Lexa reciprocated the smile, blushing lightly. How could she not from being caught staring?  
She then turned her eyes back out the window just as _ exactly _ the right song was starting. “Thank you, Spotify”, she thought — she should definitely consider that premium thing —.  
  
[ Il coraggio di andare.  
](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snR60ZXuaJc) _ The courage to go. _

[ ](https://imgur.com/tDLgWYX)

Lexa had never been into Italian music that much, but while being abroad it was music that made her feel closer to home. — Again, _home_. Was it? — well, at least closer to her culture. And it helped her not forget the language. (Who was she kidding? She was mixing languages even before going to Melbourne, now was no exception. Polyglots culture sure was confusing.)  
  
  
Nell’attesa di uno sguardo  
_Waiting for a glance_  
  
Che arrivi anche in ritardo  
_That could even be delayed_  
  
Quante volte questo tempo  
_In how many occasions this time_  
  
Ci ha rubato un ricordo  
_Stole a memory from us_  
  
  
Lexa could relate more than she liked to admit. Her professors, both in Italy and here, always told her she was a brilliant student with lots of potential. She could _never _believe them. How could she, when she couldn’t even speak in public without her brain shutting down? When she couldn’t even utter a word to _any _of her classmates during the first three — t h r e e — months of her stay? And it wasn’t the language barrier, that’s for sure. Lexa had been fluent in two languages (English and Spanish) by the time she was 16, without taking into account Italian and the two additional (dead) languages she was studying in the liceo classico — well, you can’t really speak Latin and Ancient Greek anyway, right? —.  
She did try to be polite, really. Well, she did try only once, to be honest.  
  
//  
English literature, second period, third week.  
While she was reading she stole a glance at the girl sitting next to her. She was tall, lean and red-headed — god, she _so _wished to have hair so beautiful, but she was stuck with this unbearable brown curly mess —.  
“You could talk to her?” a small voice whispered inside her head. — Ah ah, as if. —  
She then turned back to her book, determined to finish it before the lesson started.  
  
«Hey!» the girl said.  
“Is she talking to me?” Lexa thought, looking up from her book to meet the girl’s gaze.  
«You must be the exchange student from Italy! I’m Fox!» she said, offering her hand for the brunette to shake.  
“Oddio, her eyes are so blue.” Lexa thought while shaking the girl’s hand. Lexa was lost in her eyes and by the time she realised she still hadn’t introduced herself, Fox was already frowning.  
«Ah, mm... I-I’m Alessandra» she said stuttering while withdrawing her hand.  
Fox awkwardly smiled before standing up from her seat to go talk to someone in the back of the classroom.  
“Shit”. Why was she so desperately awkward? With girls especially. Shouldn’t she relate to girls? And shouldn’t that make it easier to talk to them? Sure, she’s been fighting with shyness her whole life and no much progress was made in 17 years, but still.  
“AAH, so. frustrating.”  
//  
  
She remembers going back to read the book she had almost finished before being interrupted by Fox and feeling helpless. — Sometimes characters are way more likeable than people, though. Aren’t they? —  
Due to her awkwardness and incapability of talking to people — and as we’ve established, especially girls — after three months the only friends she had made were Aden and the School Choir’s director (an adult, nonetheless). How many memories could Lexa have made if she had warmed up to people sooner? If she had talked to Anya and Echo sooner... there was no need to dwell on it. She’ll just never know.  
  
Che comunque tutto passa  
_Anyway everything goes _  
  
Anche quando non vorresti  
_Even when you wouldn’t want to _  
  
E ti ritrovi coi tuoi anni  
_And you find yourself with your years_  
  
E con i sogni più stretti  
_And with your dearest dreams_  
  
_Dreams_. Lexa had (has) a dream. She would never say it out loud, though. If she had ever talked to someone about it, it would mean it was real. And that she really wanted it. She couldn’t want it. She just couldn’t. Her parents wouldn’t understand. And who said she was talented enough? 

Changing environment helped her understand who she was — or at least it started the process, you could never know enough about yourself. — Back in her hometown, people were way too gossipy, everyone knew everybody, and you could _ only _do what was expected of you. She’d been the best student in each grade all the way through school. It didn’t help with her popularity, but she didn’t mind. Well, she did mind when kids were mocking her, but she quickly learned to ignore them and school her face to be impassible in front of their insults. That’s how she earned the nickname “Comandante”, that stuck to her until the end of middle school when she decided to attend a high school that wasn’t located in her small city. 

Choosing the liceo classico hadn’t been an easy decision. She wanted to pursue art or music, but her mother hadn’t truly been compliant. She didn’t want her daughter to waste her potential and attend a lesser — her mother’s words, not Lexa’s — school. (Didn’t matter her brother was attending the liceo artistico, right? They let him do whatever he wanted. Lexa couldn’t blame Lincoln though, he deserved his freedom and he had always defended her whenever he noticed their parents’ demands were weighing on her.)

Because of how demanding high school was, her teachers, right at the beginning of the first year suggested (demanded) they all dropped every sort of extra-curricular activity. She had been practising the piano for 5 years then, but she was expected to stop, so she did. She regretted it deeply _ every _day. 

As much as she enjoyed learning, studying had become more of an obligation than anything. 

But she worked hard, daily, and that led her to Australia with a scholarship. Her family was wealthy, but not that type of wealthy to afford to go on an exchange for months at a time. 

To her surprise, in Melbourne, she found a completely different high school life from the one she was used to. She was _ advised _to join an activity and teachers genuinely cared about their students. She never thought high schools could be like this and she started to think it was probably her own school in Italy to be… peculiar — well, most definitely. — 

So she ended up joining the High School Choir. 

Lexa had never been the sporty type and as much as she liked writing, journalism wasn’t something she was interested in. That left two options: Drama and Choir. She didn’t dislike theatre and acting, quite the opposite, but the thought of reciting in front of so many people frightened her (her shyness to blame). At least in a Choir she wouldn’t stand out much — ahah, she wished —, and she had always enjoyed singing, her shower knew that way too well. So the decision was made. Little did she know in a few weeks she would be entrusted a solo part — actually more in the weeks to come — and that in just a few months she will have overcome her stage fright — well, overcome was an overstatement, but she was definitely more relaxed and confident. — And she surely didn’t expect to find a friend in the Choir director. Gustus saw something in her — she still didn’t understand how exactly, but whatever — and had been more than supportive throughout her stay. He took upon himself to help her practice outside of the regular practise hours when she wasn’t satisfied, and he even gave her private lessons in his own house. Gustus never asked of her more than she was willing to give, but Lexa found herself more than prompt to dedicate her free time to singing. (She had even started running — well, more like fast-walking — and she _ hated _ exercising) 

She had found a place where she belonged, in which her choir-mates genuinely enjoyed her company, and she was sad to leave it. She had come to call them friends and that didn’t happen often to Lexa. 

Dio ma come si fa   
_ God, how can you _

A trovare il coraggio di andare   
_ Find the courage to go _

Anche quando vorresti restare   
_ Even when you'd want to stay _

Dimmi come si fa a rialzarsi   
_ Tell me how to get up _

Anche quando fa male   
_ even when it hurts _

E continuare   
_ and keep _

Ad allacciarsi le scarpe   
_ tying the shoes _

E ripartire da zero   
_ And start all over again _

A ricordare che niente e nessuno   
_ remembering that nothing and no one _

Può rubarti il futuro   
_ can steal your future _

È importante   
_ It’s important  _

Tu sei importante   
_ You’re important _

She really needed to find the courage to go. The courage to go back. 

It was painful to leave. She wouldn’t admit to it, but she did cry herself to sleep the night before — so much for the stoic comandante, huh? —. 

She would miss the freedom, the lightness. It’s not like Indra wasn’t strict, but she was rightfully strict. She gave Lexa a curfew — she hadn’t needed it often anyway — and didn’t allow her to hang out with people she hadn’t met first. She ended up liking Anya and Echo in a heartbeat, though. Lexa’s mom, on the other hand, didn’t like any of the people she used to call friends, or it seemed like she always had something bad to say about them. At some point after middle school, Lexa had stopped confiding in her mother completely, with the fear that if she’d ask her mother for advice when her friends upset her in some way, she’d just criticize them. Lexa was already insecure enough, she didn’t need her mother to make her doubt her friendships as well — even though it pained her to admit she may have been right about them (or at least some of them) —.

_ Tu sei importante _ . She hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear those words before.

Although she was going back to her old routine, that didn’t mean she had to give up everything she had gained. She could search for music schools near her town. She could even squeeze in some piano lessons. She knew she could manage to organize herself and her time pretty well, so that shouldn’t undermine her studies. And the liceo wasn’t going to last forever, she only had a year and a half left after all. After high school, Lexa knew she had to attend university. However this time she would be the one choosing. She had to grab her future and hold on tight, that was the only way she would survive these last years before moving out. 

The song hadn’t even finished when Lexa noticed they had already reached the airport and were entering the parking lot. She was so deep in thought she didn’t notice Aden had woken up sometime while they were driving on the highway. He was now looking at her with a teary smile. She responded with one of her signature small, almost unnoticeable smiles. 

It was time. And as the car came to a stop, Lexa knew she was ready. Because she knew nobody could deprive her of her future. 

**Author's Note:**

> italian words:
> 
> oddio: oh my god  
comandante: commander  
liceo classico: classical high school
> 
> fun fact: the title of this ff is inspired by the title that the movie "home alone" has in italian lol


End file.
